Give someone a chance

This definitely goes into the exploration category.  Giving random strangers a chance. Okay, so maybe random isn’t the right word. Maybe selective single males who you happen to meet at a bar is a better descriptor. If you have followed my blog, you know that I do indeed enjoy talking to strangers. So, it would only seem natural that if given the opportunity to meet someone out that I would then proceed to try to create a friendship with them.

This is the beginning of a (probably very short) story. Some people say you can tell if someone is a loser within the first five minutes, one of those people who believes this is my grandmother (my very wise grandmother).  I was going to try to tell this story without explaining the back story, but after I wrote that sentence it leads to the very beginning. In big metropolitan areas there are single mingles and ways to meet a lot of people in a very short period of time. A specific example is Speed Dating. If you have never speed dated before, I recommend it. Well, today, still full of silly serious random conversations lasting 4 minutes with 20 complete strangers… yeah I recommend it. For at least the opportunity to let go of your shyness and welcome your sweetest phone voice.

Snapshots:  Walk into a bar where there are 10 very nervous (but on-time) gentleman standing at the bar not talking to each other. Everyone wearing a name tag with your first name and a number. Girls eyeing girls with weary eyes as if they hope you’re the weakest link.  A man’s love of orchestra and Vivaldi leave no space for other questions.  A man flustered by your beauty then tells you that he’s suave. A bell rings and everyone stops talking to move on to the next person. A mechanic, an astrophysicist, a third grade teacher, a student, a technical writer, a car dealer, and the list continues. The recipe for quinoa and beans.  Natives, lots of natives of the city. Younger, older, dressed to impress? A smile, a laugh, an invitation to play a part in a movie. An awkward question… a response. the same question, repeated. If one more person asks for my job description… I might just lie. If another person asks where I’m from, I might just say the area. If one more person really cares where I love to travel to, I might be convinced. If another person says my name in surprise, as if it’s not a popular name, I just might gasp. Maybe it’s the pink lighting behind the ever trying expression of the guy. Maybe it’s the weird Asian appetizers and the classy looking mixed drinks served and carried by each. Perhaps the daunting chocolate kisses sitting on the table, only I dare to eat. The loud drone of similar conversations, the music and the beat.  Don’t forget the check sheets. Aren’t they supposed to be secret? or not? I really don’t want anyone to see. Make a joke, they laugh, four minutes is up, on to the next.

So what if you make it more then 4 minutes in my life? What if you’ve somehow reached through the wine glow to my brain, heart, sole? (yes not soul.) What does that mean. Does this person who gets the number, really deserve it. Do they in the end deserve the chance of my time or something. Sure, I mean, maybe your gut is wrong? Maybe you’re influenced by the mass amounts of men and women talking. Maybe you have hope, that there are interesting people worth your time in that room. Perhaps you’re determined. I mean, the only reason you and your friend came to a singles mingle was to perhaps convince yourself that one of these eligible bachelors are indeed worth your time.  “eligible” bachelors. Maybe it correlates with the fact that the last chocolate tastes best, you’ve given hope so the last one gets the chance. and you get the rose. and the next night the awkward dinner. I mean after you covered every question in the book and have no feasible reason for a conversation besides being single in the same city and you have to stare at each other for over 4 minutes, the droning starts. The bland colors remain, and free drink and “meal” don’t linger much longer.

Speed dating may not help you meet the person of your dreams. But it creates an experience and reassures your ability to carry a conversation with a stranger. Four minutes may make you realize the opportunity in someone and yes, you’re allowed to take a chance. But like that weird side dish your mom made, you only have to try it… you don’t have to like it.

give time





1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kirby
    Feb 23, 2012 @ 22:38:56

    here, here! 😉


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