can’t you see

Life is funny. I find myself sitting down to write once again. I will not make any promises for the future. We are people. We set goals, but we realize that life comes first… wait? what does that mean? Did we not create the goals for a better life? Near sight and far sight are two very different schools of thoughts.

When I first heard this song, I mistook the lyrics “Amber Lee” for “Emily.”  Coincidence or not?

  I’ve had a rush of passion to rearrange my house and to take a new perspective on life. This wasn’t met to be a new resolution… it just happened (I know… hard to believe).  I’ve realized over the last week as I trek through unopened boxes in hidden crevices and took what is normally in plain sight to the garbage, that we need to be shaken up occasionally.  Sometimes it happens through a conversation with another or just a situation. While dwelling on a thought that probably did not need to be dwelled on, we realize what is true and deep to us as humans, as people in this society, and as ourselves.

I’m tired of wearing circles in the floor

  It’s these times we look back to different parts of our lives and realize when we thought we would have learned by now; we didn’t. It’s always the lessons that hurt the most. They’re addictive. Just like a bad habit.

I’ve gotten so much braver, can you tell

  No matter the lessons or the current problems, we do realize that it is a different situation. We are a different person who (hopefully) have learned a couple of lessons along the way. We become braver. We also become a bit more fearless in some places… for the better or worse.

And I line my secrets up all one by one
I put ’em all away when I was done

  What secrets? the hurt, the frustration, the insecurities, the ones we dress up and put on shelves. Can I take those to the garbage, too? My true loves and thoughts that I hide because I have a radical mind in a primitive world.

but I miss you, Amber Lee

  To miss the younger naive self that we all once were. The one that spoke out because they knew that was right and honest. The one who did whatever the hell she wanted. Do not miss that self-be that self.

I’m happy, can’t you see

  We’re happy because no matter the past or the future, we have now-the present. A gift in time. This very moment to be lived. and in this moment we are all of the above for the better.

May you have the belief in yourself that no matter the past or the future you are comfortable in your own skin. your own very beautiful skin. May your secrets disappear not because you put them away, but because you faced them and are now able to live a true and fulfilling life. fulfilling on your own terms. 

be fulfilled


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